


The One With The Fountainhead

by shlomif



Category: Friends (TV), The Fountainhead - Ayn Rand
Genre: F/M, Humor, Modernization, Parody, Spoof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21682588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shlomif/pseuds/shlomif
Summary: A parody of Ayn Rand’s novel, The Fountainhead, modelled around a two part episode of the Television sitcom show Friends. Somewhat unhappy with the original book, the six friends in the show role-play their own version of The Fountainhead, while trying to improve upon it. Will they succeed?What was the photo of the Parthenon replaced with?Why was Chandler happy to play Peter Keating?Which element is featured in every second-rate romantic novel?Which piece of advice did Toohey give Dominique Francon?Why did cruising with Gail Wynand turn out to be a bad idea?And who were the bad guys in the story?Read the screenplays to find out.
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a real _Friends_ episode, but one written by

My Screenplay

# The One with the Fountainhead - Part 1

[ **Written by:**[Shlomi Fish](http://www.shlomifish.org/). ] 

[ **Note:** This is not a real _Friends_ episode, but one written by Shlomi Fish. Being _Friends_ fan-fiction, Fish disclaims all copyright claims to some of the characters and concepts presented here. This work also serves as a parody of the book _The Fountainhead_ by Ayn Rand, which is also copyrighted, and the characters and concepts from it belong to the Ayn Rand estate. ] 

## Joey Reading the Fountainhead

[ The girls’ apartment: Ross and Chandler are by the chair watching T.V., Joey is reading a book on the sofa. Monica is at the counter, preparing food. Rachel is sitting on a stool by the counter. ] 

**Ross:** I can’t believe he could not tell the other guy wasn’t really a dinosaur. 

**Chandler:** Well, cartoon characters usually have a difficulty seeing through disguises. 

**Rachel:** [Walks over to the sofa.] Joey, what are you doing? 

**Joey:** Reading a book. 

**Rachel:** Which book? [bends over to look at the open pages]

**Joey:** _The Fountainhead_. 

**Rachel:** **The** _The Fountainhead_ by Ayn Rand? 

**Joey:** Yes. 

**Monica:** So, you’re dedicating some time to catch up with your reading? 

**Joey:** Actually, I’ve already read it once, but I’m reading it again because there’s a play brewing about it, and I have an audition for it today. 

**Ross:** You’ve already read it? 

**Joey:** Yeah [puts the book down]. I was in acting school, and the guys decided to throw a discussion about it. So, I decided that I’ll read the book so I can make a good impression on the ladies if y’know what I mean… 

**Rachel:** Yep, we know what you mean. 

**Monica:** So, did you get laid that night? 

**Joey:** No. I spent the entire night discussing _The Fountainhead_. [pause] Interesting book. 

**Chandler:** Must have been one of the most stimulating nights of your life. 

**Joey:** Not quite as much as the next night. 

[ Opening Credits ] 

## Let’s role-play our own version

**Phoebe:** [Entering.] Hiaaa, did I miss anything? 

**Chandler:** Well, Joey has an audition for a play version of _The Fountainhead_. 

**Phoebe:** Oooh, [approaches] good for Joey [pats his head]. Did you read it already? 

**Joey:** Hey, know what we can do, so I can get prepared for the audition? Let’s role-play our own version of _The Fountainhead_. 

**Rachel:** Our own version? Why would we want to write our own version of it! This book is great. 

**The others:** “Yes.” “One of the best books I ever read.” “Can’t get better than this” 

**Joey:** Come on, if you wanted to write it today, would you write the same book? 

[ Silence. ] 

**Phoebe:** Well, for once: didn’t it bother you that Dominique Francon, the main female character, didn’t do anything in the best years of her life, except like… sleeping with people? 

**Ross:** Yeah. All the characters in fact do nothing in the 20’s and 30’s, except maybe build some buildings. 

**Joey:** If you ask me: the book is too slow-paced for the 90’s. I mean, in the 60’s it may have worked but we’re in the information age now. 

**Ross:** Joey, _The Fountainhead_ was written in 1943. 

**Joey:** Yeah, but it was still good enough in the 60’s right? OK: our own version of _The Fountainhead_ \- here’s what I think it should look like 

[ The screen becomes liquid-like and blurry to indicate an imagined sequence. Then: a dramatic music is heard and a black and white screen appears with the title _The Fountainhead_ and several building around. The slide changes to “Starring: Chandler Bing, Phoebe Buffet, Monica Geller”. ] 

**Ross’ Voice:** Let’s skip the opening, OK. 

## Roark Quitting Stanton Tech

[ The screen changes to a long shot of a provincial university and then the dean office is shown. The dean is standing in the middle holding one picture in each one of his hands. 

Ross enters the room in informal clothes, and with an Orange-colored hair. ] 

[ Cut to the girls’ apartment. ] 

**Chandler:** Hey! How come you’re playing Roark? 

**Ross:** Cause… cause… I was the first! 

**Chandler:** Oh good, and who do we get to play? Why don’t I play the overwhelmingly exciting role of Austen Heller. I’m doing it so Joey can have the role of Mike the Electrician. 

**Joey:** Thanks, bud. 

**Monica:** Hey, give him some slack. We’ll see how it develops. 

[ Cut to the dean office ] 

**Dean:** Oh, Mr. Roark, please come in. [Roark approaches him] Now, which picture do you like better? 

**Roark:** Hmmm… this one [points to a picture]. 

**Dean:** OK. Can you please climb this chair, and put it on top of the fireplace instead of the other photograph? [Roark does so, and replaces a photograph of the Parthenon, with a black and white photo of the Taj Mahal]

**Dean:** Thanks. Could you believe that it’s some gigantic grave in India that no-one ever heard about? 

**Roark:** Well, it’s quite inspiring… at least aesthetically. 

**Dean:** Well, back to why I called you here… Oh yes… about you being kicked out of this school. 

**Roark:** Yes. 

**Dean:** I’d like to let you know that I’ll do everything I can so you’ll be admitted back. 

**Roark:** What? 

**Dean:** Mr. Roark, you have the will, character, and maybe even the talent of a genius. Therefore, I cannot afford the Stanton Institute of Technology to lose a man like you. In fact, I’d like to recommend them to extend your scholarship, so you can… 

**Roark:** Sir, I’d like to leave, but thanks for your concern anyway. 

**Dean:** Wha … wha … what? Are you sure? 

**Roark:** Yes. I am. 

**Dean:** Anything I can do to change your mind? 

**Roark:** No, I feel like I’ve learned everything I needed to learn here. 

**Dean:** Very well. [he’s puzzled]

**Roark:** I think I’m going to leave now. Thanks again. 

## Roark and Keating Planning Their Future

[ Roark leaves the room, and on his way out meets Chandler who is wearing a black graduation cloak. ] 

**Peter Keating:** Oh, hey Howard. How did it go? 

[ Cut to Chandler. ] 

**Chandler:** Peter Keating? Me? [Thinks for a moment] Hey, does this mean I’ll be role-playing the most physically attractive male character in this story? 

**Ross:** I guess. 

**Chandler:** [Joyfully.] Peter Keating it is. 

[ Cut to Roark and Keating ] 

**Roark:** Well, as far as you’re concerned - I quit. 

**Keating:** Hey - I knew this place wasn’t big enough for you. What are you planning to do now? 

**Roark:** Travel to New-York, and um… work for Henry Cameron. 

**Keating:** That loser? … I mean: well, you’re the architectural genius around here. Listen, why don’t we get to the big apple together, and keep in touch. I’m going to find myself a nice job and all, but I suppose I can arrange you guys a commission or two. I’m good at those things. 

**Roark:** [Laconically] Yes, Peter. You are. 

## Catherine and Toohey

**Phoebe’s voice:** Oooh, now I want to continue. Let’s see, yes. [The scene changes to Ellsworth Toohey’s home] Keating and Roark, were not the only ones to arrive at New-York at that time. Catherine Halsey, Peter’s valentine for many years, who had just lost her mother, was moving to reside with her uncle. The latter was Ellsworth Toohey, a creepy academic and journalist of the so-called “humanitarian” kind. 

[ The door is ringing. Toohey (depicted by Mr. Heckels) goes to open it. Catherine (Phoebe in a casual dress, made to look very young) is standing behind it. ] 

**Catherine:** Hey Uncle Ellsworth! 

**Toohey:** Catherine, my dear, come in please. You seem so cheerful despite the fact your mother died. 

**Catherine:** [Puts her suitcase on the floor.] Oh, you know… It’s been two weeks, and I met this really funny woman on the train. 

**Toohey:** Well, as you know, I’m a very busy man, I receive very little money, and my work is crucial to the welfare of, well… mankind. Still, hosting you is my moral duty, and I’ll let you stay here and finance all your needs. I’ll even put you to school or college if that is what you want. 

**Catherine:** [Turns to face him.] Fuck you, Uncle Ellsworth! 

**Toohey:** I… beg your pardon? 

**Catherine:** Give me two or three days to find a job, I’ll pay you the rent, and we’ll share the bills. Otherwise, you’ll probably use my “gratitude” to psychologically manipulate me and leave me incapable of surviving in the real world for at least ten years. 

[ Toohey is bewildered ] 

**Toohey:** Fine, pay the rent if you like. But where did you get that idea about the psychological manipulation and stuff? 

**Catherine:** Duh! It’s in every second-rate romantic novel. What do you think about each of us cooking dinner on alternate days? 

**Toohey:** Okay. Remember my cabbage pie? 

[ Pause. ] 

**Catherine:** On second thought: I’ll do all the cooking. 

## Meet Cameron

[ Cut to Cameron’s Office door. Roark and Keating arrive there after climbing the stairs. ] 

**Cameron:** [Shouting from behind the door] You bastard, can’t you do a basic design the right way? One day I’ll have you fired. On second thought, one day I’ll have all of you fired. 

**Keating:** [Looking at the sign on the door] Well that’s the place. 

[ Roark opens the door and they both enter. Cameron (depicted by Mr. Geller) is sitting at his desk looking at a design. ] 

**Cameron:** [To Roark and Keating] What do ya want? 

**Roark:** Good morning, Mr. Cameron. My name is Howard Roark, and I just quit Stanton Tech so I can work for you. I have some designs which you may want to look at. [Hands him his designs.]

**Cameron:** [While inspecting the designs] Very impressive… best ones I’ve seen in years. OK: you’ve got the job. Start working tomorrow. I’ll give you 20 dollars per week. 

**Keating:** Sir, I was wondering if you could… 

**Cameron:** Sure thing. In that case, I’ll give each of you 10 bucks a week. 

[ Keating shrugs, and smiles stupidly. ] 

**Chandler’s Voice:** With Roark by his side and with Peter Keating doing the public-relations work, Cameron became the hottest architect in New-York by the end of the year. However, after Roark and Cameron had a long fight of whether the steps of a certain house should be white or light beige, Peter suggested that they all go separate ways. Thus, Roark quit to open his own office, while Peter started his own public relations company and is now regarded as the father of American publicists. [During this speech there are various slides: Cameron, Roark and Keating smiling; Roark and Cameron fighting while Peter tries to calm them down; a photo of the Keating Foundation.]

## Book Discussion about Jane Eyre

[ Cut to Catherine’s apartment. She is hosting a book discussion with many of her female friends. Sophie (depicted by Bonnie, the friend Phoebe fixed up with Ross) with long blonde hair and looking in her prime is there. ] 

**Catherine’s Female Friend No. 1:** So I was thinking Jane has no choice but to go back to Mr. Rochester. Otherwise, the readers will say: hey, it was a great story, but the ending is **so** out of place. 

[ There’s a knock on the door and Catherine rises to answer. It’s Peter. ] 

**Catherine:** Oh, hello Peter. Ahmm… you can’t come in now. 

**Peter:** [With a tone of casual interest] Why, what are you doing now? 

**Catherine:** Ahmmm.. I’m having a book discussion. 

**Peter:** About which book? 

**Catherine:** Ahmmm… “Jane Eyre”. 

**Peter:** Really? I love “Jane Eyre”. [steps in] Oh, hello all! My name is Peter Keating, I’m a friend of Catherine’s, and I’d really like to join you so you’ll excuse me for interrupting. By the way, you can call me Peter. 

**Most of the other participants:** Hhhhiiiiii… 

[ Cut to end of the discussion. ] 

**Peter:** So you see why I think that Bronté purposely wrote the book so we’ll wonder whether she is being anti-religious or pro-religious? 

**Catherine’s Female Friend No. 2:** Yes. Good bye, Mr. Keating! 

**Peter:** Good-bye to you too, Miss Wellington. 

[ Short pause. Catherine lowers her look and look around nervously. ] 

**Catherine:** So… 

**Peter:** Did you have anything else planned for the evening? 

**Catherine:** [Reluctantly] No. 

**Peter:** Well, then since it’s rather late, I’ll be going now. It was a wonderful evening [kisses her on the chick]. Good Bye! 

**Catherine:** Bye. [she closes the door after Peter and lies against the door.] Ehmmmm… I’m going to die an old maid at this rate. [Walks forwards, off the door.]

## Enter Dominique

[ Cut to an office desk. ] 

**Monica’s voice:** However Peter was not alone. Romance was waiting for Howard too in the form of Dominique Francon, a newly employed journalist in the New-York Banner, the city most popular second-grade newspaper. 

[ The camera zooms out to reveal Dominique (depicted by Rachel) organising her desk. Cut to Monica and Rachel’s ] 

**Rachel:** **What?** Me? “Perfect beauty”? the most sought-after spinster in New-York city? As if! 

**Joey:** Why not? 

**Rachel:** For once, I’m not slim enough to fit into Rand’s description. 

**Ross:** See, see, even you admit that you’re chubby! 

**Monica:** The thing is, Roark… Ross is my brother. 

**Rachel:** All right. [sarcastically] In order to prevent adultery I’ll be Dominique Francon. 

[ Cut to Dominique’s office. Toohey approaches. ] 

**Toohey:** Hello, Miss Francon. 

**Dominique:** Hello Mr. Toohey! Do you want anything? 

**Toohey:** Well, just to inform that it has been my observation that you are very fond of Mr. Howard Roark. 

**Dominique:** Roark? What of all things made you think that I’m attracted to this orange-headed talentless architect? 

**Toohey:** For instance the last party of Mrs. Holcombe. 

**Dominique:** What about that party? I hardly looked in his direction more than once. 

**Toohey:** Exactly. 

**Dominique:** Mr. Toohey, I should say it is my diagnosis that you over-estimate your “powers of observation”. 

**Toohey:** Miss Francon… I’m getting tired of this useless mind war. What do you say about us being fully sincere with one another? 

**Dominique:** Yeah, OK - that’s a good idea. 

**Dominique:** OK, Mr. Toohey, here’s the thing about Roark: [grabs Toohey by his collar and shakes him] I WANT HIM **BAD!**

**Toohey:** [Releases her hands of his collar.] Calm down, Miss Francon. I dare say my experience in this field had been… inadequate… but it is a common belief that sometimes it is best to simply tell one’s object of affection about it. 

## Dominique Seducing Roark

[ Cut to Roark’s house. He is sitting at a desk at the back of the frame, hears a door bell, opens the door. It’s Dominique. ] 

**Roark:** Oh, Miss Francon, please come in. 

**Dominique:** [Enters] I want to sleep with you. 

**Roark:** [Interrupting her] That’s very nice. I’d like to sleep with you too. But I’ve got some work to do, so I can’t. [sits back at his desk.]

**Dominique:** Hrrr… all right - pretend that I’m not here. Pretend that you’d rather work on your stupid buildings. You wouldn’t even be distracted if I stood naked in the middle of the room! 

**Roark:** Actually, that **would** distract me. 

**Dominique:** Why? 

**Roark:** I can see your reflection in the window. [Pause.] I should have thought about it when I designed this room. 

## Dominique Telling Toohey about her Love Life

[ Cut to Dominique’s office. She is talking to Toohey ] 

**Dominique:** Anyway, then we were tired of fooling around, so we went to bed, and I started telling him about my day, but you know men: he fell asleep immediately. 

**Toohey:** As much as I enjoy it, Miss Francon, I do not understand why you are telling me all that. 

**Dominique:** [Holding his hands] Mr. Toohey, you know that I know that you are the most hideous, devious, and destructive man in New-York city. But knowing every detail of my love life would not help you a bit, would it? [She lets go of his hands, walks to her desk, and grabs her typewriter]

**Dominique:** Wanna have lunch together? 

## Sophie’s sex advice.

[ Cut to the arbour of Sophie’s mansion. Sophie is sitting on a chair next to a glass table. She is reading a book. The New-York Banner is laid on the table. Sophie is dressed in a light but very chic and elegant dress. Catherine enters, dressed much more plainly and in less style. ] 

**Sophie:** [In a heavy aristocratic English accent] Oh, Catherine, darling! Do come in! 

[ Catherine sits next to her, and sighs. ] 

**Sophie:** Catherine, are you all right? What seems to be your problem. 

**Catherine:** You remember my boyfriend Peter? 

**Sophie:** Yes. Quite a dish, isn’t he? 

**Catherine:** Ahaa. Well, yes. He is quite a dish. 

**Sophie:** So what’s your problem? 

**Catherine:** Well, how should I put it diplomatically… 

**Sophie:** He won’t have sex with you. 

**Catherine:** Yes. Exactly. 

**Sophie:** Well, I just read this article in the banner by this Dominique Francon character. She is quite amusing you know. Anyway, she says here: “I believe that women should become more assertive and take control of their relationships. God knows it helped me.” 

**Catherine:** So, what should I do? 

**Sophie:** Why not go visit him in his office for a start? 

## Catherine at Keating’s Office

[ Cut to Peter’s office entrance. ] 

**Keating’s Secretary:** Mr. Keating, there’s a Miss Catherine Halsey here to see you. 

**Keating:** Let her in. [Catherine enters into Keating’s office. Keating is there speaking with Roark.]

**Keating:** Hey Catherine, you remember Howard Roark, right? 

**Catherine:** Yes. Nice to meet you again, Mr. Roark. 

**Roark:** Nice to meet you again too, Miss Halsey. 

**Keating:** Howard and I are going to Jamaica to build this hotel. 

**Roark:** It would be the first building I make out of wood. Should be quite interesting. 

**Keating:** So, bye Catherine. 

**Roark:** Farewell, Miss Halsey. 

**Catherine:** [Disappointedly] Bye. 

## Sophie about Gail Wynand

[ Cut to Sophie’s house. Catherine and Sophie are sitting there talking. ] 

**Catherine:** So I went there, and Howard Roark was there, and Peter said they had to go to Jamaica to build some hotel out of wood or something. 

**Sophie:** Oh no. [She grabs the paper on the table.]

**Catherine:** What’s the matter. 

**Sophie:** Gail Wynand is in Jamaica. [Shows a copy of the New-York Banner with a picture of Joey with an all-face white beard on the cover.]

[ Cut to Monica and Rachel’s ] 

**Joey:** Gail Wynand? Yeah!! He’s rich, powerful and has all the babes he wants. 

**Chandler:** Reminds me of you. Except that you’re not rich… or powerful. 

[ Cut back to Sophie’s House ] 

**Catherine:** So? 

**Sophie:** Oh, don’t you know? Gail Wynand will certainly want to meet them and he will take them to somewhere hideously far away and you won’t see them for months. Do you remember Albert Einstein? 

**Catherine:** Yes, this physicist guy. 

**Sophie:** Well, last time he met Gail Wynand, he ended up in New Guinea! 

**Catherine:** In that case, there’s only one thing I must do. 

## Catherine boarding an aeroplane

[ Cut to an airport. Catherine is wearing a pilot’s jacket and is walking forward. Sophie is besides her. ] 

**Sophie:** Catherine, are you out of you mind? 

**Catherine:** Yes! 

**Sophie:** My father will kill me. 

**Catherine:** Oh come on! You said your father thinks of me as his own daughter. 

**Sophie:** But he won’t let **me** near this thing, either! 

**Catherine:** He’ll understand. 

**Sophie:** You won’t survive. 

**Catherine:** Of course I would. I’m like a cat: nine lives. [climbs on the small aeroplane] Bye! 

[ Cut to the aeroplane. There’s a pilot in the front seat. Catherine is seating in the back. ] 

**Aeroplane’s Pilot:** There’s Jamaica down there. 

**Catherine:** Thanks God. 

[ The engine stops hissing. ] 

**Pilot:** Remember I told you how to use your parachute? 

**Catherine:** Yes. 

**Pilot:** Do it now. [Jumps out of the plane.]

**Catherine:** Oh, oh! 

[ Cut: Catherine’s parachute falls down. Gets stuck on a date tree and Catherine falls down into a greenery field. ] 

**Catherine:** [Slowly] Eight lives left. [Looks and sees a four-leaf clover right in front of her eyes.] Oooohhh, [picks it up and get up] make it nine. 

## Meeting Gail Wynand

[ Cut to another place in Jamaica. Roark and Keating enter the frame. ] 

**Keating:** OK, let’s go see the building site. 

[ Gail Wynand enters ] 

**Wynand:** Hey, Mr. Roark, Mr. Keating - welcome to Jamaica. My name is Gail Wynand, you must have heard of me, but here’s my card, just in case. [Hands them a card.]

**Roark:** [Reading the card] “Gail Wynand. Newspaper tycoon, perpetual traveller, and famous American playboy”. 

**Wynand:** This card is slightly out of date. I now see myself more as an **international** playboy. Anyway: meet Elizabeth, the current love of my life. [Elizabeth, depicted by Monica enters the frame.]

[ Cut to Monica and Rachel’s ] 

**Monica:** So I get to be Wynand’s mistress du jour? 

**Joey:** Hey, do you have a better idea? 

**Chandler:** You can be my… I mean Peter’s mother. 

[ Pause. ] 

**Monica:** Wynand’s mistress it is. 

[ Cut to Jamaica ] 

**Elizabeth:** Hey, aren’t you… 

**Wynand:** Howard Roark and Peter Keating. [In a Joey-like manner] Isn’t it great? 

[ Catherine approaches them, she’s very unkempt, very angry. ] 

**Catherine:** Yoooouuuu! [pointing at Keating]

**Keating:** Hey Catherine, how did you get here? Anyway, meet Gail Wynand and his emm… lady-friend Miss Elizabeth… 

**Elizabeth:** Rousley. 

**Roark:** Gee, it was nice meeting you, Mr. Wynand, but I have a building to build. I’ll meet you all in the evening, OK? 

[ Roark leaves the frame. Wynand signals a local to come over. ] 

**Wynand:** Tell everybody that I ask them to help Howard Roark build his building. 

## Roark meets Dominique in Jamaica

[ Cut to construction site. Roark is there, as well as many Jamaicans who are in the midst of building his building. ] 

**Joey’s Voice:** With half of Jamaica eager to help him, Roark found building the hotel went amazingly fast. 

**Dominique’s voice from behind:** You’ve certainly topped yourself this time, Mr. Roark. 

**Roark:** Oh… Miss Francon, Hi. So, what are you doing here in Jamaica? 

**Dominique:** I’m doing my banner column on housing tips from Caribbean Women. 

**Roark:** I have met Mr. Wynand, whom I believe is your boss. I’ll be meeting him again this evening. How charming. 

## Wynand’s Offer

[ Cut to a restaurant. Everybody is sitting there, dressed in a light but elegant way. ] 

**Wynand:** So, I said to them: “No. I don’t remember seeing anyone that looks like Woodrow Wilson passing by…” 

[ Everybody laughs. ] 

**Wynand:** You know, Howard, I think you’re a great architect. And, Peter, you’re very good as a publicist. 

**Keating and Roark:** Thanks, Mr. Wynand. 

**Wynand:** Call me Gail. Anyway, what did you say if I told you that I’ll arrange it so you two can never work build buildings or do public-relations stuff again? I’ll even give you a monthly allowance? 

**Elizabeth:** Not again… [she puts her head in her hands.]

[ Roark and Keating look at each other, buffled ] 

**Keating:** So? 

**Roark:** Yes, so what? 

**Wynand:** What do you mean “So what?” 

**Keating:** Well, it would give me some time to catch up with my painting. 

**Roark:** And it would give me time to invest in my long-time passion of… 

**Keating:** Paleontology? 

**Roark:** [To Keating] How did you know that? 

**Keating:** Trade’s secrets. So, does your offer still stand? 

**Wynand:** Giving you an allowance so you can paint some stupid paintings and dig some stupid bones. No way! 

**Wynand:** In any case: I’m planning on setting sail with my Yacht tomorrow’s morning. Why don’t you all join me? 

**Everybody else:** “Yeah”, “yeah”, ”sounds like fun”. 

**Roark:** OK. Cruising with you sounds like a good idea. 

## Stranded on the Deserted Island

[ Cut to the beach of a Caribbean island. The girls are sitting on the sand, the boys are standing to the left, a little farther from the water. ] 

**Roark:** Cruising with you was a **bad** idea, Gail. 

**Wynand:** Hey, relax, so the yacht drowned. I’ll just use my contacts to get us out of here. Now, what island this is… ahmmm. On second thought: it’s uninhabited, so I don’t have any contacts here. 

**Keating:** So now we don’t have contacts either? I guess that means we’ll have to build a boat or a raft, or something. 

**Wynand:** Build a raft? I think calling for help by using radio waves is a much better idea. 

**Roark:** And how exactly are you going to build a radio transmitter? For once, we’ll need a current source and some wires. 

**Wynand:** So? I bet we can find one metal or another on this island. 

**Roark:** I’m with Peter: we can use stones to cut and carve the tress, and then use twines to tie them into a raft. 

[ They wander off and continue arguing. Cut to the Fountain-girls ] 

**Dominique:** I can summarise my relationship with Howard in one word: sex. As much as I want it, when I want it, in any way I want it, but just sex. 

**Catherine:** [While putting her hand on the ground] I hate my life! 

**Dominique:** [In a caring tone] Why, what’s the matter? 

**Catherine:** I can summarise my relationship with Peter in three words: anything but sex. 

**Dominique:** Oh! But, trust me, the anything is much better than the sex. 

**Elizabeth:** My problem with Gail is entirely different. 

**Catherine:** Really? 

**Elizabeth:** We have enough but not too much, and, besides, he’s sweet, exciting, passionate … and he even lets me date other guys. 

**Dominique:** So, what’s the problem? 

**Elizabeth:** I don’t know… there just isn’t any tension. I’ll want to get married \- we’ll get married. I’ll want to have a baby - we’ll have a baby. I’ll want to get a divorce - he’ll give me a million dollars and divorce me. 

[ Cut to the fountain-boys. ] 

**Joey’s Voice:** [Trying to sound dramatic in an old movie style] Will the boys never stop discussing what is the best way to get out of the island? [Cut to the fountain-girls] Will the girls do something beside complaining about their love lives? [Split picture with both trios] Are six of the most competent men and women in America… 

**Wynand:** Hey! 

**Joey’s Voice:** … In the world… ever going to get out of that Caribbean island? Find out in the continuation of [The _The Fountainhead_ slide is displayed] The Fountainhead. 

## Joey Needs to Go

[ Cut to Monica and Rachel’s. ] 

**Joey:** I have to go to the audition now, so we’ll have to continue this stuff later. [Rises and walks out] Bye! 

**The others:** Bye!… Bye, Joey! Break a leg!… 

[ Joey leaves. ] 

**The others:** Hmmm. 

**Chandler:** I say we have a masterpiece in the making. 

## What did Ayn Rand do afterwards?

[ Cut. End Credits. Phoebe is sitting on the couch reading The Fountainhead. ] 

**Phoebe:** Wow, I forgot how great The Fountainhead was. So what did Rand do afterwards? 

**Ross:** Well, she wrote the screenplay for the movie adaptation of the book, which starred Gary Cooper… 

**Phoebe:** Oooh, yummy… 

**Ross:** Yes, well, and then she worked on Atlas Shrugged. 

**Phoebe:** [In a poetical fashion] “Atlas shrugged from side to side. Alas, my end is near - the lady cried.” 

**Monica:** Ehmm… Pheebs? That’s the “Mirror Crack’d from side to side”. 

**Phoebe:** Oh! Ayn Rand wrote “The Mirror Crack’d” too? 

**Ross:** No, Phoebe. That was Agatha Christie. 

**Phoebe:** Oh! Everybody knows that Ayn Rand wrote all of Agatha Christie’s stories. 

**Chandler:** [Tongue-in-cheek] **I** can totally believe that, Pheebs. 


	2. My Screenplay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not a real _Friends_ episode, but one written by

My Screenplay

# The One with the Fountainhead - Part 2

## Joey got a part.

[ **Written by:**[Shlomi Fish](http://www.shlomifish.org/) ] 

[ **Note:** This is not a real _Friends_ episode, but one written by Shlomi Fish. Being _Friends_ fan-fiction, Fish disclaims all copyright claims to some of the characters and concepts presented here. This work also serves as a parody of the book _The Fountainhead_ by Ayn Rand, which is also copyrighted, and the characters and concepts from it belong to the Ayn Rand estate. ] 

[ The girls’ apartment: everybody except Joey are present. Joey enters through the door. ] 

**Joey:** Hey guys! Guess what? I got a part! 

**Everybody else:** Gee that’s great… What part is it? 

**Joey:** Remember that biker that sees Roark’s recreation camp at the beginning of the fourth part? Well, I’m playing his college buddy! 

**Chandler:** You got a part that’s not even in the book. 

**Joey:** No. The play is basically about a parallel plot with different characters that is some-how connected with what happens in the book. 

**Joey:** Anyway, did you guys continue inventing our own version of the Fountainhead without me? 

**Ross:** No. We were waiting for you. 

**Joey:** Gee thanks. [Sits down] So, why don’t we continue from where we got to? 

## Get us out of this Island.

[ The screen bubbles into the Caribbean island. The fountain-boys are standing near the beach talking, the girls are standing at the back of the frame. Everybody clothes are in worse condition, which indicates they been there for quite a while. Dominique walks towards the men, and it is clear from her expression that she’s angry. ] 

**Dominique:** Howard, [she arrives at the boys’ location] we’ve been on this island for three days now. We’re sick of eating coconuts. We’re sick of eating mangos… 

**Roark:** Ehhhm, Honey? Mangos don’t grow in the Caribbean? 

**Dominique:** They don’t? 

**Roark:** No, they are a native plant of the Old World. 

**Dominique:** Then we’re sick of eating… whatever we ate. Will you get us out of this island? 

**Roark:** We are discussing how to get out of here right now. 

**Dominique:** You’ve been doing it for three days now! 

**Roark:** But we’ve made important progress: we passed the brainstorming stage and right now we’re in the solution analysis and evaluation stage. 

**Dominique:** Errgggh! 

[ She walks away towards the girls. ] 

**Dominique:** [To the other girls] Come on, let’s get something moving around here. 

**Elizabeth:** But, what can we do? 

**Dominique:** I think I have an idea. 

[ Opening Credits. ] 

## The Fountaingirls take initiative.

[ Long shot at one of the island’s shores. It is filled with “Help!” inscriptions in various languages. Some are drawn with mud, and others are inlaid with stones and shells. Dominique and Elizabeth are standing near the outgrowth; Catherine is busy inlaying an “S.O.S”; Elizabeth is holding a long stick in her hands ] 

**Elizabeth:** Well, inscribing “Help!” all over the island’s shores in every language a potential saviour of ours may understand, certainly cannot make matters worse. 

[ The boys are passing by, Wynand turns and takes a look. ] 

**Wynand:** Ehhmm, Dear? Help in Arabic is “Musaa3adah” not “Musaa3adhah”. 

**Elizabeth:** Oh, shoot! 

[ She walks towards the misspelled sign, and prepares to erase the extra dot with her stick. Close up. ] 

**French Voice from behind the camera:** What are you doing? You are ruining a masterpiece! 

**Elizabeth:** [Looks up] I beg your pardon? 

[ Camera zooms out to reveal the back of a woman wearing an extravagant dress. ] 

**French Woman:** Oh, excuse me, for not introducing myself. My name is Brigitte de-Nouver, and I’m aan art critic. [Dominique and Catherine walk and stand beside Elizabeth] My husband and I were cruising the Caribbean in our yacht and then I saw it. 

**Catherine:** Saw what? 

**Brigitte:** This island… is the most powerful grandiose artwork I have ever seen. I must buy it from you! 

**Dominique:** Well, we don’t really own this island, so I guess you can have it for free. 

**Brigitte:** Really? 

**Dominique:** On one condition… 

**Elizabeth:** This yacht you said you have - can we board it and get the hell out of here? 

## The Fountainboys Get a Ride Back

[ Cut to the fountain-boys. They are sitting in the middle of the island’s plant growth, and still discussing the possible ways of getting out of the island. Brigitte passes by, leading a group of art enthusiasts. ] 

**Brigitte:** [She stops.] And here we can see the New-York architect Howard Roark; his good friend Peter Keating the publicist [Peter raises his hand and waves at the crowd]; and Gail Wynand, the newspaper tycoon and famous American playboy… 

**Wynand:** Famous international playboy. 

**Brigitte:** …Famous international playboy. They are one of the island’s most important aanimated details. Their presence amplify the irony in the situation those three women faced… 

[ A black man approaches the fountain-boys from the other side. ] 

**Black man:** Are you Peter Keating, Howard Roark and Gail Wynand? 

**Keating:** Yes. 

**Man:** My name is Rob, and I’m a boat-owner. Your lady-friends instructed me to bring you back to Jamaica. 

**Wynand:** Our lady-friends? 

**Keating:** Gee, that’s nice of them. 

**Roark:** Yeah, it would have taken us several more days to finish this discussion. [They rise and start following Rob.] Regarding what you said about the bonfire… 

## What to do next?

[ Cut to Jamaica, the fountain-girls are dressed in clean light dresses and sit next to a table ] 

**Elizabeth:** I always wanted to be a Chef. I studied home economics at College and then I went to Memphis and opened a small restaurant of my own. But people there didn’t like the fact of a woman being a chef, so they never went to my restaurant. 

**Elizabeth:** So, I moved to Philadelphia, which is a more liberal city. And then all the women-liberation activists got excited, and my restaurant was full just because I was a woman chef. But I want to be appreciated because of my food, not because I’m a woman. So, I decided to move to England, where they have achieved greater progress regarding women-rights. 

**Dominique:** And you were discriminated because of your sex, again. Oh dear! 

**Elizabeth:** No. People flocked to my restaurant, just because I was the only American chef in London. 

**Elizabeth:** So, I moved to the Canary islands, where people thought my food was a nice change, and didn’t care much about me being a woman or not. And then Gail came by, and I decided to join him on his endless travels. 

**Catherine:** Interesting life story. 

[ The men come by and sit down. ] 

**Dominique:** So, you’re back. 

**Roark:** Yep. 

**Wynand:** So, what do you want to do next? I can arrange for another yacht tour, or we can go to Florida and explore the swamps… 

**Keating:** Actually, Gail, I think we had enough recreation for now, and Howard and I will just head back to New-York. 

**Wynand:** Oh come on! Surely, there’s something you’d like to do… 

**Roark:** Hmmm… not really. And besides, you’re Gail Wynand, and you can arrange everything, so it kind of renders all the fun out of it… 

**Keating:** Hold it right there! But, what if we go **against** Gail Wynand. 

**Wynand:** You mean that I arrange to get you all killed, and you will try to stay alive? [He has an evil grin on his face.]

**Keating:** Now, that would be an exciting challenge. So what do you all say? 

**Roark and the women:** “Yes”, “Sounds nice”, “We’re in”. 

**Wynand:** Okay. How about that: I drop you off at the Mexican shore, and you’ll try to get to the U.S., where you’ll be safe. 

## The Fountainboys in the Mexican town.

[ Cut to the entrance to a Mexican town. The Fountain-gang minus Wynand are approaching. ] 

**Roark:** Are you sure you want to split up? 

**Elizabeth:** Yes, we’ll be OK. Like I said, splitting up will raise the chance of at least one of the groups arriving safely at the border, and us women are probably just slowing you down anyway. 

**Roark:** OK. See you later. 

**The girls:** “bye!”, “love you.” [They walk to the left.]

[ Roark and Keating are entering the pueblo. ] 

**Keating:** I wonder what Gail meant by him arranging to get us killed. We’ve walked for a long time and so-far nothing bad happened. 

[ A large number of Mexicans spring from between the houses, holding rifles and pistols. They aim them at Peter and Roark. ] 

**Keating:** Until now. 

**Mexican Gang Leader:** [He takes a brief look at a photo he’s holding in his hand.] You are Howard Roark and Peter Keating, right? 

**Roark:** That’s right. 

**Gang Leader:** Then Gail Wynand gave an order to have you killed. 

**Keating:** Hey, you can’t just shoot two defenceless men like that! 

[ Two pistols are thrown and they fall near the feet of the two. ] 

**Keating:** Howard, do you know how to use a gun? 

**Roark:** No. 

**Keating:** Me neither. Let’s run for it… 

[ The two are running in the streets of the town, and the Mexicans chase them and shoot bullets at them. The camera cuts to a Mexican man who overseas the chase, he then shouts at the chasing gang. ] 

**Mexican Man:** Hey, amigos, will you stop this non-sense! 

[ The chasing gang stops chasing and shooting. Roark and Keating stop running. ] 

**Gang member:** Excuse me? 

**Mexican Man:** You shouldn’t kill those men just because Gail Wynand said so. We have to deduce what is good and moral by ourselves according to the immutable laws of logic, and regardless of the subjective whims of Gail Wynand, or anybody else for that matter. Killing those two men, who are perfectly innocent as far as we know, would be a wrong thing to do, and Gail Wynand’s will cannot change that. 

**Gang members :** [To themselves.] “Gee, his right”, “Yeah, let’s drop it off.” [They disband.]

**Former Gang Leader :** [To Roark and Keating] Hey, sorry we’ve tried to kill you, amigos. 

[ Roark and Keating walk towards the Mexican man who saved them. ] 

**Keating:** Gee, thanks for saving our lives. 

**Mexican Man:** Well, you’re welcome. And besides: Gail Wynand said the exact same thing the last time he has been here. 

**Keating:** What’s your name? 

**Mexican Man:** Pedro Dominguez. 

**Keating:** We’ll send Gail your regards. 

**Pedro:** Thanks, man! 

## Caught by Indians

[ Cut. It’s afternoon and Roark and Keating are walking in the middle of the desert. ] 

**Keating:** You know, walking in the desert and avoiding those towns, was a good idea to stay out of trouble. But I’m getting thirsty. What do you say we sneak to a well? 

**Roark:** As you wish, Peter. 

[ Suddenly, many Indians spring from various hiding places around the two, aiming guns and loaded bows at them. Roark and Keating see them and quickly raise their hands. The Indian chief signals them to move to the right, and the two walk that way, followed by several armed Indians who are guarding them. ] 

**Keating:** Do you suppose Gail has anything to do with it? 

[ Cut. It’s night. A long shot of a large wooden platform, with a tall wooden pole somewhere in its left side. The entire Indian tribe gathered in front of the platform. 

Close up on the pole. Keating is tied to it, and an Indian is finishing tying up Roark. ] 

**Roark:** Peter, I have a confession to make. I didn’t really show it, but I actually like you. And I really appreciate how you helped me and Cameron. 

**Keating:** Gee, Roark, it’s nice to hear that. I will cherish that thought for the next couple of… minutes. 

[ The Indian crowd start cheering and shouting. Long shot, then close up on the Indian chieftain who is standing in the middle of the platform. He knocks three times with his staff, and the crowd silences. ] 

**Indian Chief:** Gaaaaiiiiill Wynand! We love thee! We need thee! We worship thee! 

[ The crowd start cheering and shouting again. The chief knocks two times with his staff, and the crowd silences again. ] 

**Indian Chief:** Gaaaaiiiiill Wynand! We call for thee! 

[ Sparks of light appear on one spot in the platform, and then there’s smoke, and Wynand appears out of it. ] 

**Wynand:** Hey, what happened? [Looks around.] Oh, it’s you. Hey, nice to see you again. 

**Indian Chief:** We caught two of the men you requested to hunt down, and we are going to execute them. 

**Wynand:** Good work. [Approaches Roark and Keating.] So, here you are. 

**Keating:** Yes, Gail. Here we are. 

**Wynand:** [Whispering] You know, I can set you free and get it over with, right now. 

**Roark:** No thanks, Gail. We are not the kind of men to quit a challenge like that. 

**Wynand:** Suit yourselves. [To the chief] You can proceed. 

[ An Indian approaches Roark, and cuts down his ropes. After he’s untied, Roark grabs the Indian’s knife, rushes toward Wynand, take hold of him and holds the knife close to his throat. ] 

**Roark:** Untie Peter, and let the three of us escape, or else Wynand gets it! 

**Wynand:** [To Roark] nice move. 

**Roark:** Thanks. 

## After Escaping from the Indians

[ Later that night. Roark, Keating and Wynand are in the middle of the desert. ] 

**Keating:** OK, Gail, I think we lost them. Roark and I have to cross the Rio Grande, so you’ll probably want to stay here. 

**Wynand:** Naaah, I’ll join you just for the excitement. Besides, those Indians may see me as a fallen god or something, so it might be dangerous for me to stay here too. 

**Keating:** Welcome aboard. 

**Roark:** Well, now we have to cross the Rio Grande. 

**Roark:** Oh, and Pedro Dominguez sends his regards. 

**Wynand:** Pedro? You’ve met the old chap? That’s great! How he’s doing nowadays? 

**Roark:** Oh, he’s fine. He has saved us and everything, because he seems to be the only rational thinker in Mexico. 

**Wynand:** Yes, I always liked him. I think that once we return to New York… 

**Keating:** If we return to New York… 

**Wynand:** Exactly… when and if we return to New York, I’m going to make Pedro in charge of the newly founded Spanish-speaking division of the Wynand Newspapers empire. I smell a huge business potential there… [he continues to talk]

## After Crossing the Rio Grande

[ Cut to the edge of a cliff in Texas near the Mexican border. The three men are climbing there after having crossed the Rio Grande. They look awful. ] 

**Keating:** Huh… Huh… 

**Wynand:** Huh… We made it… We made it… 

**Keating:** Yes, finally we’re safe, on the right side of the border. Gail, you didn’t affect Americans to hunt us too, did you? 

**Wynand:** No. 

[ A border guard approaches them from the side. ] 

**Border Guard:** Hey, you trespassers! 

**Keating:** Hey, that’s OK. We’re American citizens. 

**Border Guard:** If I had a nickel for every time I heard that. Nice accent, by the way. Anyway, you should come with me. 

**Border Guard:** I don’t believe it: Gail Wynand!! What are you doing crossing the border with those two trespassers? 

## In detention

[ Cut to the Jail. The three fountain-men are in there. The border guard approaches the cell’s door and opens it. ] 

**Border Guard:** Guess what? Someone paid up your bail. They identify themselves as your lady-friends. 

[ Dominique, Elizabeth and Catherine enter the frame. ] 

**Dominique:** Well, well, if it isn’t deja-vu. 

**Roark:** So how did you survive and arrive here safe and sound? 

**Dominique:** We told everybody what Gail Wynand supposedly told them to do. 

[ Cut to the Mexican village. Pedro is sitting next to table, and there are gun shots and war cries all around him. ] 

**Pedro:** For some reason, I don’t think that Gail Wynand had this in mind. 

[ Cut to the Jail. ] 

**Dominique:** I wonder why you didn’t do the same. 

**Roark:** Because it’s the oldest trick in the book, duh! It would have taken out all the challenge. 

## On the boat.

[ Cut to the outside. Everybody except Wynand are there. The men have changed and are dressed much more nicely. Wynand enters the frame. ] 

**Wynand:** Guess what? I got us tickets for a steam-boat up the coast of the U.S.A to New-York. 

**Keating:** That’s great, Gail! When do we leave? 

**Wynand:** In a couple of hours. 

[ Cut to a long shot of the boat. It’s evening. Cut to a corridor inside the boat. Wynand and Elizabeth enter it from one of the rooms. ] 

**Elizabeth:** Gail, there’s something I’ve got to tell you. 

**Wynand:** What? 

**Elizabeth:** I want to move to New-York. 

**Wynand:** All right, we’ll hang around New-York for a while. 

**Elizabeth:** And, I want to stay in New-York. 

**Wynand:** What? 

**Elizabeth:** I want to settle down. 

**Wynand:** But we can’t settle down. Even my card says I’m a perpetual traveller. 

**Elizabeth:** Well, I’m not. 

**Wynand:** But, you can’t do this to me. 

**Elizabeth:** In that case, we’ll have to break up. Guess what the “Banner” will say after a woman broke up from you for the first time like, ever. 

[ They continue arguing. Cut to the corridor. Roark enters it from one of the doors, Dominique from another. ] 

**Dominique:** Hey Howard. 

**Roark:** Hey. 

**Dominique:** Close your eyes. 

**Roark:** Why? 

**Dominique:** Just do it. 

**Roark:** OK. 

[ Dominique takes out a gift package, and presents it to Roark. ] 

**Dominique:** Now, you can open them. 

**Roark:** [Opens his eyes] A present, for me? 

**Dominique:** It’s our ten months anniversary. 

**Roark:** [Starts to unwrap it] Thank you, that’s … wait a second! Is this what you have in mind: a relationship full of gifts, memos, candlelight dinners… and dates? 

**Dominique:** Yes, what’s wrong with that? 

**Roark:** I thought I met the perfect woman: one you can have sex with at night, and forget about during the day. But it turns out you’re like everybody else. 

**Dominique:** Well, Howard, you are such a pig! 

**Roark:** You have to understand that I can’t let this relationship interfere with my work. 

**Dominique:** My father warned me about men. He said “they are all the same, including me”, but I thought some men are different, apparently I was wrong… 

[ They continue arguing. Cut to the corridor, Keating and Catherine enter it from the deck. ] 

**Catherine:** Oh, isn’t it nice to see two couples sorting things out. 

**Keating:** Yes, really nice. 

**Catherine:** You know, I’ve been thinking about our relationship too… 

**Keating:** [Looks at the two arguing couples.] Oh no. 

**Catherine:** And you know what I think we should do? 

**Keating:** What? 

**Catherine:** We should get married! 

[ Cut to the ship’s main hall. The wedding of Keating and Catherine is in progress. ] 

**Judge:** And do you Catherine Halsey, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? 

**Catherine:** I do. 

**Judge:** Then, by the power invested in me by the state of Georgia, I now pronounce you man and wife. 

[ Keating and Catherine kiss each other, then exit the frame. Cut to the dock. It’s night and Roark, Dominique, Wynand and Elizabeth are standing there, looking at the ocean. Catherine and Keating join them. ] 

**Dominique:** Aren’t you guys going to … you know? 

**Catherine:** Oh no. We decided that we’ll give me time to get along with Peter’s mother, and stuff. And then, one quiet night, when we’re both composed and relaxed… In any case, right now we want to spend some time with our friends. 

**Wynand:** You know, I think I’m going to marry Elizabeth too. I never liked a woman so much, since the crush I had on Judith Rodring in the tenth grade. 

**Roark:** Gail, you didn’t go to high school. 

**Keating:** Yeah, you were born on Hell’s Kitchen and… 

**Wynand:** Oh, that. That’s just a cover story! My father is loaded, and is still alive. 

**Keating:** You had us fooled. 

**Wynand:** Well, yeah, OK. Anyway, after I graduated from Princeton, with honours, my father came to me and said: “Gail, what can I give so you’ll become independent?”. So, I said, “Can you lend me a dollar so I can travel to New-York?” 

## The Epilogues

[ Long shot of the boat. Cut to Monica and Rachel’s. ] 

**Monica:** The end? 

**Joey:** Yeah, I guess. Now let’s make those cool epilogues. 

**Ross:** OK. After five years, Roark felt that he reached saturation as an architect [cut to an excavation site], so he and Cameron went to pioneer the field of Paleontology. 

**Roark:** I think this bone belongs to a Homo habilis. 

**Cameron:** No, look at the tip. It’s definitely a Home erectus. 

**Roark:** Homo habilis. 

**Cameron:** Homo erectus. 

**Roark:** I can’t work with you. You’re like my father. 

**Cameron:** Well, one of the reasons I don’t have children is because I’m afraid my son will turn out like you. 

[ Cut. Dominique is sitting in an office. ] 

**Rachel’s Voice:** Dominique Francon-Roark decided she needed a challenge so she became the president of the United States. 

**Secretary from the outside:** Mrs. President , there’s a phone call for you. 

**Dominique:** [Picks up the phone] Hello. 

**Phone:** Hello, Mrs. Roark? This is Mrs. Baum, your son’s teacher. Your son got hurt. 

**Dominique:** Oh, God. 

**Phone:** No, he’s OK. He just told us to call you, because his father is too busy. 

**Dominique:** Of course he’s too busy. He’s out there digging bones in Indonesia. And to think I fell for this guy just because he built some nice buildings. 

[ Cut. Zoom on a detail in Keating’s office. ] 

**Chandler’s Voice:** Peter Keating continued to practise his skills as an architect, and got better in time. 

[ Zoom out, Keating, Roark and Cameron are sitting in Keating’s office. ] 

**Keating:** You guys look weary. Should I bring you something to drink? 

**Roark:** No, we’re OK. Anyway, we heard you have made another sketch? 

**Keating:** Well, yes. 

**Cameron:** Can we see it? 

**Keating:** Yes, here it is. [Picks it up from the table and hands it to Roark and Cameron.]

**Roark:** That’s very nice Peter, straight corridors and all. 

**Cameron:** But, I would place the windows a little higher, so there’ll be more light. 

**Roark:** Yes, and the stairs should not be separated from the corridor by a door. 

[ They continue to discuss the sketch. Keating rises up and leaves the room. ] 

[ Cut to a kitchen. Elizabeth is there, working. ] 

**Monica’s Voice:** Elizabeth settled down in New-York, and became a chef. And thanks to Dominique becoming president, she didn’t suffer from any discrimination. 

[ Cut to Keating’s Kitchen. Catherine and Keating’s mother (played by Alice Knight, Phoebe’s brother’s wife.) are standing there, talking. ] 

**Phoebe’s voice:** Catherine got along great with Peter’s mother. 

**Catherine:** Do you know the secret to a great lasagne is? 

**Mrs. Keating:** No, please share. 

**Catherine:** Well, my good friend, Elizabeth Wynand… 

**Mrs. Keating:** The famous Chef? 

**Catherine:** Yeah! Totally? I’m also good friends with her husband, Gail. 

**Mrs. Keating:** Get out! 

[ They work on the Lasagne together ] 

**Mrs. Keating:** Yes, his story is quite inspiring. From a poor boy to a business Tycoon. 

**Catherine:** Yes, all he had once was a one-way ticket to Manhattan. 

**Mrs. Keating:** Amazing! 

**Mrs. Keating:** Catherine, you are a gem! Peter is so lucky to have you. 

**Catherine:** Yeah, he totally does. If it hadn’t been for me, my uncle would have poisoned himself to death with his idea of good cooking. 

## Reflecting on the story

[ Cut to Monica and Rachel’s ] 

**Chandler:** So, Joey what about you? 

**Joey:** I’ll think about mine later. 

**Monica:** You know, our story seems a bit strange in comparison to the original work. 

**Chandler:** I’d say: none of the good guys commits any crimes, and the bad guys… well, we don’t have any bad guys. 

**Joey:** You know, I wonder what Ayn Rand would have thought about it. 

**Chandler:** Well, if she had survived all of the five heart attacks she would have received when hearing our story, I’d say she would have totally dug it. 

[ End Credits ] 

## Wynand and Toohey

[ Cut to Wynand’s office. He’s sitting there at his desk. ] 

**Joey’s Voice:** After the events described previously, Gail Wynand decided to transform his newspaper empire into a benevolent newspaper empire, hailing the productive scions of America, etc. etc. So, he decided to get rid of some bad weed. 

[ Toohey enters through the door. ] 

**Toohey:** Did you want to see me, Mr. Wynand? 

**Wynand:** Yes. Please have a seat. 

[ Toohey sits down. ] 

**Wynand:** Mr. Toohey, you’re fired. Moreover, I’ll make sure you’ll never be able to publish a single word again… 

**Toohey:** Mr. Wynand, [rises up and shakes Wynand’s hand] I can’t thank you enough, wait here. 

[ Toohey leaves the office. Wynand waits, puzzled. After a few seconds, there’s a cut to the door, showing Toohey entering with a belt around his neck. ] 

**Toohey:** Your actions will allow me to launch my new career as a saxophone player. [He shows his saxophone.] Hear this! 

[ Toohey plays his saxophone - he rocks. Wynand listens to the music and nods with content. ] 

[ **The End**. ] 


End file.
